Recovering From Abuse, Making Room for Joy

I have Energy Sessions in order to heal myself of physical and emotional pain. I have suffered a great deal of pain and my intention is be joyful in this life and to bring joy to others. In the process of healing I have learned that I need to make room for joy. I have gone back and examined many nasty things that took place during my childhood, which could be called abuse…

Abusive Background
I grew up in an environment where I was NEVER treated with love or respect. NEVER.
My other siblings received affection and respect from my parents, but I did not. As a child I had sensitivities to certain foods. I remember expressing my intestinal distress to my mother. She ignored me, and she continued to cook the foods that upset my stomach. However we were told that we could never have spaghetti for dinner ever again because my sister was allergic to wheat. No one in my life cared about how I felt. My mom ignored my food allergies yet my sister’s were treated.

I was very musically gifted. My mother made unjust demands by insisting that I perform for everyone who entered our home. I really didn’t want to perform. If I sacrificed myself and met her demands I would be safe. If I did not comply, I was judged as bad, very bad, and she let me know it with her unending rage, and I suffered the consequences. These abusive situations went on for years. There was never anyone who understood. I was forced to do music. I felt pain and despair, abused, miserable, rejected and ignored, with no true value or worth. I suffered in silence.

Recent Pain
This abusive history has had a tremendous impact on my physical health and my emotional well being. I have had to deal with many physical health problems my entire life. When I was parenting my own children, who are grown now, I tried to parent sensitively and consciously, keeping their wellbeing in mind at all times. My relationship with my own children is very precious to me. I spend a lot of time on the phone listening to one of my daughters whom I love dearly. First I listen to her problems and then I offer her advice. Recently these phone conversations have back-fired. This has caused me to feel a great deal of pain. My daughter misinterprets what I have told her and she passes this incorrect information on to other family members who believe I have said terrible things. My daughter tells my husband and my sister how awful I am. They never defend me when they hear these terrible things. I feel betrayed my husband. I was feeling like an adult who has never loved herself.

It was in this pain that I arrived for a Healing Session. Susi and I sat down and began the work. Energy Healing is a very fast and powerful way to heal both physical and emotional pain. After the Healing I was able to let so much joy into my heart and I could send it out to others. I felt so much better.

In a previous session I had met a ‘spirit guide,’ called Jerry. Susi suggested I contact Jerry again to see if he had anything to add to my healing. Jerry said:

“This loveliness is everywhere, no matter what is happening. You can fill your heart so much that it can explode (in a good way), and spread it to others, everybody has the capacity to do that.”

It was then that I received the awareness of what a gift it was that I went through all the suffering.

Then I asked Jerry, how I can avoid future suffering. He told me:

“It’s just a matter of staying in your heart. That is a really important thing to focus on.”

Then I saw opals filling my gut area. (Bliss)!

‘Life can look like a plain dull rock, but when you allow light to come in, you get these gorgeous colors that sparkle abundantly and radiate like the fire in an opal.’

A memory from many years ago came to me…my neighbors bought me an opal ring when I had received music honors. At the time I thought this was pointless…I did not value the honor or care about it one bit… I gave the ring to my sister, she has it now. I think I will ask for it back so I can enjoy the brilliant light that radiates from the opal’s fire.

Now I am feeling like an adult who loves herself. And I can be there for my daughter.

—MW